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1. |
Fungus
02:35
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If you stare at a blank wall long enough,
You’ll start to see patterns where there are none.
Little flecks of paint or smears or dry rot,
Little stains of what you’ve become.
Spreading like a fungus
Across your stinking hole of existence.
Just keep staring.
The fungus might diffuse,
Might even produce
A little bit of meaning.
I just stared at the walls cause there was something wrong,
My walls were beige. Plain. Plain as they come.
Across, there was a fungus eating my walls.
And eating my mind.
I didn’t know it at all.
I just stared at the walls and tried to ignore,
That being alive was becoming a chore.
I was breaking down. I was giving up,
I was becoming the wall I was building up.
We want to live.
We want to ache.
I want to suffer,
I wanted to break.,
The heart ticks harshly against a beating clock.
Spitting poison through my vessels and into my thoughts.
We want to live.
We want to thrive.
I want despair.
I want to die.
The walls they pulse with the temples’ beat,
And I don’t want to hear it,
No I don’t want to hear it.
But I can feel it.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
I can feel it spreading like a fungus,
Across the whole of my existence.
It’s what I’ve become,
Now it’s who I am,
I would try to resist it, but I know I can’t.
It’s spreading like a fungus.
Spreading like a fungus.
It’s what I’ve become now,
It’s who I am now.
Spreading like a fungus.
Spreading like a fungus.
Now it’s who I am now.
I would try to resist it,
But it’s spreading like a fungus
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2. |
Take Your Pills
02:35
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Yeah you can feel the weight returning,
And the burden is unliveable, unstoppable.
That means you’ve gotta take your pills.
Now you can feel your heart start running.
And the race is unbearable. Unwinnable.
Only thing you can do: take your pills.
Though they make you retch and heave.
Though they leave your mouth chalked and parched.
Though they can offer no relief.
Though they can’t change what you are.
Choke em all down,
Choke em all down with pride.
Choke em all down,
Choke em down with your pride.
Here’s one for the highs, and one for the lows,
And one to smooth out the in-betweens.
A little for the ups, a little for the downs,
And some to stop you slipping, now you’re slipping,
Crying, screaming:
Take your pills.
Take your pills
Yeah, sedate your useless body.
Dim out those dark places,
Until reality is foggy,
And friends become unfamiliar faces.
Take your pills
Dull your pathetic senses,
Shadow your shame in cloud,
A lick of paint on your defenses,
Before they all come crashing down.
Choke em all down,
Choke em all down with pride.
Feel em rotting out,
Rotting out your insides.
Here’s one for the highs, and one for the lows,
And one to smooth out the in-betweens.
A little for the ups, a little for the downs,
And some to stop you slipping, now you’re slipping,
Crying, screaming:
Take your pills.
You raging cunt of disappointment,
Suspended in an air of discontent.
A dying fly in the ointment,
Sucked down the drain of supplements.
If this is how it’s gonna be this year,
Then let this year be the last.
If this is how it’s gonna be once again,
Pop the lid, spill em out, raise your glass.
And choke em down
Choke em down.
Choke em down.
Choke em all fucking down.
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3. |
The Sickness, The Shame.
03:50
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Another panic attack in a crowded place,
Another lightness night in an empty space.
I know I’m ill and they’re not laughing at me,
But I can’t shake the feeling they just might be.
Another day, I can’t sit down or I can’t get up,
Another day where I can’t talk or I talk too much.
Can’t shake the feeling that nobody,
Knows the sickness, the shame, inside of me.
I am a cigarette waiting to be burned,
I’m a malignancy waiting to be confirmed.
I am a dark cloud waiting to clutch the sky.
I am a terminal case waiting to die.
I am a sharpened blade waiting to taste flesh,
I am a loading screen waiting to be refreshed.
I am a fresh cadaver waiting to rot,
I’m a throbbing temple waiting to be shot.
Another panic attack in a crowded place,
Another lightness night in an empty space.
I know I’m ill and they’re not laughing at me,
But I can’t shake the feeling they just might be.
Another day, I can’t sit down or I can’t get up,
Another day where I can’t talk or I talk too much.
Can’t shake the feeling that nobody,
Knows the sickness, the shame, inside of me.
I could try to crawl on, I could try to get by,
I could try to suppress these violent desires.
I don’t think I’ve got the nerve, don’t even think I could try,
But, I’ve got a few arteries and a kitchen knife.
I’ve got no self-pity and no self-respect,
I think about suicide more than I think about sex.
I guess that probably means that I’m truly sick,
I guess it probably means I’m just a bipolar prick.
Another panic attack in a crowded place,
Another lightness night in an empty space.
I know I’m ill and they’re not laughing at me,
But I can’t shake the feeling they just might be.
Another day, I can’t sit down or I can’t get up,
Another day where I can’t talk or I talk too much.
Can’t shake the feeling that nobody
Knows the sickness, the shame, the reality,
The repulsion, the pain, the hostility,
The self-loathing, the torture, the misery,
That feeds the sickness, the shame inside of me.
Lying inside of me.
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